


For the One You Love

by MemoryDragon



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: And write them nicely, Angst, Can be read without the last chapter that has the character death, Eventual real character death, F/M, Faked character death, Fluff, Heero is a history teacher, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, No character bashing, Proof you can write characters you hate, Protest fic happens, Unrequited Love, old anime fic, probably terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-26
Updated: 2004-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the one he loves, he's willing to give up everything. Even if it means giving up his own happiness...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Things You Do...

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim to.  
>  **Notes:** Some background information on this fic. First of all, this is not one of my better fics. It wasn't when I wrote it, and it's definitely far from so now. However, it was _fun_ to write, and a lot of people enjoyed reading it. 
> 
> Fair warning, it's not the best organized fic out there either. It started out as a one shot that evolved into a multi-chapter fic of loosely related one-shots and then got a over reaching plot. Also, around chapter two I get a really weird format of half Duo first person point of view with third person everyone else. In short... I wasn't really thinking when mapping out a narrative and forgive accordingly?
> 
> Now for the protest portion of this fic. In Gundam Wing fandom back in the day (who knows, maybe still now) there was a huge divide. You either liked slash pairings or non-slash pairings and there was no inbetween or happy medium. Roughly everyone on one side of the fence was rather scornful of the others due to polarizing characters that you either loved or hated accordingly. 
> 
> This fic was written with the sole purpose of pissing everyone off. I wanted flames and death threats and all that fun stuff. In this, I failed miserably, since everyone seemed to like it too darn much. I think I got one whiny little threat that barely even managed to sound vaguely threatening ( I believe it went something like "Duo needs to be happy or else..." ). However, I did manage to get followers from both sides of the fence, all of which (slash and non-slash fans alike) adored this fic and wanted to see it through to the end. I also set a good example on not bashing hated characters. I may not like Relena, but my characterization of her in the later bits of the fic (when I finally got up the courage to attempt writing her) got compliments from both Relena fans (saying I treated her very well and characterized her perfectly) and Relena haters (saying that I made her standable and actually an enjoyable character). So over all the fic was a decent success, despite my original goal failing completely. Troll fail, fic win.
> 
> As for the pairings, the basic plot is that Duo is in love with Heero, and Heero is straight and married to Relena. At no point during the course of this fic will that fact change. So, if you want a sappy love story that randomly kills Relena off and Heero goes running into Duo's arms, look elsewhere. Happy romance was not in my vocabulary. That does not mean happy ending was not part of my vocabulary, but Duo's love will remain unrequited for the entire fic. Because really, that's a bit more realistic than everyone being non-slash or slashy, but that's just me.
> 
>  **Originally Posted:** Aug. 26, 2004

_The things you do for the one you love._

That’s what I told him, that Christmas eve. He may not have shown it to other people, but I know where to look for traces of worry in his eyes. I know where to look when searching for love in his heart.

The God of Death only knows how long I’ve been searching for it.

Of course, he doesn’t know that. No, he doesn’t know that at all. I’ve never told him how I feel. Or anyone else for that matter. Well, Quatre knows, but hell. Have you ever tried keeping your emotions from him? It’s damned hard.

But other than Quatre, no one else knows. Not even Hilde, who I’ve been living with for the past several years. It’s not that I don’t trust her, but these feelings aren’t something that should be said aloud. Quatre understood that, the one time he tried to confront me about it. He looked sad as he walked away from me, but he understood.

Heero will never love me back. A fact is a fact and I know that, always have. So I’ll keep my feeling hidden, only to come out in the shadows. For one who lives in the shadows, it’s not that hard to do and I’ve been living in the shadows for a very long time.

I don’t know when I started to fall in love with Heero. It certainly wasn’t love at first sight. I _did_ shoot him in the arm, for crying out loud. Then, after I’d graciously tried to save him, he repays me by nearly killing himself _and_ stealing the parts from my Gundam. More like animosity at first sight, if you ask me.

But that time he tricked me. Making me think we were gonna duke it out then and there, but he was actually aiming at the Taurus behind me. He did something after that I never expected him to do. He laughed.

His laugh had to have been one of the single most beautifully wild things I’ve ever heard.

To this day, I’ve never heard him laugh besides for that moment. No matter how many times I tried. Oh, how I tried to hear that lovely sound again. But I never got anything more that a small smile for my pains or a smirk if he’s gotten the better of me.

_The things you do for the one you love._

Yes, I’ve done many things for Heero. I’ve sacrificed my dignity countless times in order to amuse him. Just so I can cherish that rare smile of his that makes my heart leap. The rare smile that is occasionally meant just for me. I treasure those few moments higher than anything.

I’ve even given up any chance of happiness I might have had with him. It would have been so easy to convince him that she didn’t love him in return. After she had gotten over her infatuation with him, she never showed any sign of affection to him. Sure, I knew differently, but I could have done it. Maybe he would have turned to me for comfort.

But if I had, he wouldn’t be happy now. No matter how much I wish I could fool myself, he’d never love me in return. No point in making both of us miserable.

And he is happy now. He doesn’t show it, granted, but I’ve had years of experience to know where to look. He’s very happy. He was even content when he was just watching over his princess. She understands him too, almost as well I do. They more than deserve each other. They compliment each other perfectly.

In fact, as long as it is her that Heero loves, I don’t mind as much. If Heero had fallen for another guy, I could see being upset. But as it is, there’s no point. He is what he is, and I am what I am. Nothing can change those facts. Nor do I want Heero to change anything about him. If he did, he might not be the Heero I fell in love with anymore.

Besides, Heero is already perfect in every way. Beautiful build. Pale skin that comes from his living on the colonies all of his life. Unruly brown hair that he had to continuously push back. A pair of Persian blue eyes that I could stare into for hours on end.

He’s always right too. Always says the right thing at the right time. He has this untameable passion in him - that’s probably what draws everyone to him, myself included. That and he’s completely selfless. He gave everything for the colonies during the war. His identity, his innocence, even his life, countless times and he has no regrets about those things.

Heero said once that his life was cheap. That his life was expendable. For all I know, he still believes that too. If only he knew how much of the exact opposite that statement is. If he were to die... So many people would feel it.

He’s touched so many lives, not just my own. Heero has that quiet passion that’s impossible to forget. Whether a person has known him for as long as I have, or they just stop to ask him for the time, that person will always remember him. That’s just the way he is.

When did I realize that my love was a lost cause? Probably whenever I realized I was in love with him. No, there were no sweet daydreams for Duo. I watched him too carefully for that. Even before I had realized how I felt, I was trying to figure him out. I could never guess just what Heero’s next move was. It was almost frustrating, studying him like I did.

That was why, when it came to me slowly that I was in love with the perfect soldier, that I knew I didn’t have a chance.

I’ve known from the start that Relena also had some thing for him. What was first a major infatuation slowly grew into a quiet love. She’s like Heero, with that passion. But unlike Heero, you could always tell what she was feeling.

And soon it was apparent to me that Heero was beginning to return her feelings. Not that he knew just _what_ those feelings were, but they were there, all the same. The chemistry between them was remarkable. They were as attracted to each other as the much as the colonies attracted the hopes and dreams of so many people.

Heero was scared of those feelings at first. For someone who’s whole childhood was probably devoid of love, that’s not surprising. It’s natural for humans to fear the unknown. But eventually he embraced the feelings, and Relena. It made him stronger for that too.

I don’t fit into the equation at all. I never have and never will. She captivated him long before I saw the two of them at the docks. I know that now. Even if I had let him shoot her that day, nothing would have changed. Except for maybe Heero being more of a hollow shell, a weapon made by those damn doctors.

No, I can’t even regret that day.

It’s only proper after all. Who ever heard of the God of Death with a lover? The only lover he could take would be that of his victims. And anyone who tried to get close to Death would share the same fate.

So it’s better this way. The two of them can be happy now, and I can walk in the shadows, protecting them. I’ll protect his happiness, even if he never knows it. I’m used to working in the shadows. Living in the shadows...

I’ve been living in the shadows as long as I can remember.

When he came to me, telling me he had finally proposed to her, I smiled. Congratulated him. Said it took him long enough. It was then I knew it was time to put my plan into action.

The fact that he wanted me to be the best man at the small wedding they were planning warmed me. Though it meant giving up on him for good... It was hard to say yes, but I did. That he considers me his best friend is better than nothing, after all.

But this will be the last time he’ll see me. There’s no turning back, now that I’ve decided. After the wedding, I’ll become Heero’s shadow. It will be hard, making sure he doesn’t know I’m there, but I can do it. I’ve been shadowing him this past week to be certain that I could.

This way, I can protect him and Relena. I’ll be there so Heero never has to pick up a gun again. I’ll carry his burdens so that he doesn’t have to. That was why I stole Deathscythe, so the colonies wouldn’t have to fight. Now I’ll do the same for him, so that he can be happy.

He’s slightly nervous, standing next to me now. It hurt, seeing how his eyes lit up when she came into the small church. Seeing how happy they both are together. Giving him up, even though I never truly had him in the first place, was the hardest thing I had ever done. No matter how much I had steeled myself before hand, it still hurt like hell.

He kissed her and I was the first to start clapping, letting out a shout. The sound drained all thoughts of those lips ever kissing mine away. And if any tears escaped my eyes, it would be easy to put it down as happiness.

The things I do for the one I love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:
> 
> "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."  
> -Charles M. Schulz


	2. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim to. Nor do I make a claim for the end of the first scene. That's from Fullmetal Alchemist because I decided it was too good not to steal.  
>  **Notes:** Here starts the random song themed chapter names, just to warn you.

Heero stood in front of the grave of his best friend. His new wife had recognized his need to be alone an hour ago, leaving him there to sit in silence.

Duo...

Why? Why just then? Why couldn’t he have left an address of where to be reached on his honeymoon? Why couldn’t he have been there to stop the explosion... He was the perfect soldier, after all; that was what everyone called him. So why couldn’t he have been there to help Duo?

They didn’t know much. For all the police knew, it could have been anything from a random terrorist bombing to something Duo accidentally triggered himself. Hilde was lucky not to have been home at the time. There might have been two bodies, instead of one.

Why Duo, though? Heero would never have imagined it possible for there to be such a huge gap in the world for one person. He had always taken for granted Duo’s playful jabs, Duo’s smile...

Some soldier he was. Soldiers knew better than to make ‘friends.’ But the war was over...

Why was he so upset? He didn’t understand. They were both soldiers at one point. Either of them could have died during the war. There had been several times they nearly died by each other’s hands. So why was this affecting him so much? Ever since Trowa had met the two of him and Relena at the airport after their honeymoon, Heero couldn’t even think straight.

He wasn’t even able to make the funeral. He and Relena hadn’t left an address for fear of pranks from the mischievous pilot. Pranks that might have kept him from dealing with something explosive...

Why?

“Heero...”

Heero looked up. Quatre stood there, uncertainly. The blond looked towards Duo’s grave briefly, tears forming in his eyes. “I heard from Trowa that you just got back.”

Heero just went back to his vigil, staring emptily at the grave. He didn’t say anything, either to greet the blond or to answer his question. Quatre sat down beside Heero on the ground, pulling his knees to his chest in a compact position. “I’m sure... I’m sure Duo wouldn’t have... wanted to spoil your honeymoon like this,” he said softly.

Neither of them spoke for some time after this. The shared pain was too much for the small talk Quatre had attempted. The blond was finally able to control his grief, but the next part would be just as hard...

He watched Heero’s steady breathing, debating whether or not to say anything. Duo wouldn’t have wanted.... And it would hurt Heero very much... but he deserved to know.

“Heero... Duo was... He never said anything to me about it. The one time I confronted him, he said it was best left in the shadows...” Quatre paused, catching a breath. He wasn’t making much sense, but Heero didn’t seem to be listening anyway. His old friend just continued to stare at the grave. As if in watching long enough Duo would come out from behind the stone and smile. Say something about what a great joke it was. How he’d had everyone fooled.

No, this wouldn’t be easy at all. Quatre swallowed, trying to wet his mouth as it suddenly went dry. “Heero, I know what I felt from him. Duo was... Duo was in love with you.”

Heero looked up, visibly startled. Of all the things he might have expected Quatre to say... This had to be the last of them. “In love...”

“In love with you.” There. Quatre had said it. For better or for worse, it had been said. Quatre had the feeling Duo would have still disapproved, but... It felt right, telling Heero finally. He never liked keeping secrets from his friends.

It took Heero a while for the full meaning of the statement to sink in. It was impossible. It was Duo who always consoled him when Heero had been uncertain of Relena’s feelings. Duo had been the one to push him towards buying the ring. He had even threatened to propose _for_ him if he didn’t hurry up. So why then...

But Quatre had no reason to lie to Heero. His other sense had never failed him before either. As unbelievable as it seemed, Heero knew the blond’s ability to feel other people’s emotions was real. He’d seen it at work.

And it would explain the occasional sad look Duo gave him...

Heero was horribly confused for one of the first times in his life. There was no clear path now, nothing he could think of to do. The world seemed to be spinning endlessly, falling out from under him. No amount of screaming would make it stop.

“That’s funny.” Quatre’s soft voice cut through his thoughts like a knife. Heero grabbed on to the words as if they were his only lifesaver to reality. However, Quatre’s next words threw him back into his spiraling thoughts. “It almost felt... felt like Duo was here...”

“Why?” Heero finally managed to ask. It was the one question that kept pounding at his skull. But Quatre remained silent. Could not even he answer Heero’s question? “Why?!” He repeated again, fist coming down on the pavement.

“If you mean why he died, I don’t know.” Quatre uncurled from his position and rose slowly. “It wasn’t suicide, I know that much. If you mean why he loved you...” The blond faded off. He met Heero’s eyes, surprising the other man with the conviction in them. “Heero, you are many things. But no matter what you may think, you aren’t replaceable. You give people the courage to move on. You’re the type of person everyone naturally respects.”

Once again, Quatre startled Heero. But the blond wasn’t done yet. “If you meant why Duo smiled when you married Miss Relena...” He paused again, this time looking away. “It was probably because your happiness meant more to him than his own.”

“ _The things you do for the one you love..._ ” Duo’s voice rang through his mind, as if it had happened yesterday. Suddenly, Heero felt moister on his cheek.

“Heero...”

“It’s started to rain.”

Quatre looked up at the bright electric lights of the colony that was shining down on the two of them. Though the colonies could and did recreate rain from the planet below, today it was as if the sun meant to mock the two of them. He closed his eyes. “Yes, it has.”

  
* * * 

I hadn’t expected Quatre to be there. Do you know how hard it is to keep your presence from an empath? Near impossible! Jeeze, but that was tough. Lucky for me, he put it down to a ghost.

I hadn’t expected Heero to react that way either... Why did Quatre have to tell him that, anyway?! Honestly, I don’t know what was going on in that little blond head of his. Didn’t he see how much that hurt Heero?

Heero... I didn’t mean for it to hurt him like that. I guess he’s blaming himself for being on his honeymoon when it happened. I should have thought of that. But it was too good of a chance to waste.

Oh well. What’s done is done. I can’t change anything now. Besides, this is for the best. I can protect him and Relena much easier now. Better too. Really. He’ll forget about me, soon enough. Then he can get on and live his life the way he was supposed to, without me.

Money isn’t a problem for me. I have more than enough in a special account to last me a couple years at least. And that’s with all the expenses toward protecting the Yuys included. No small feat, let me tell ya.

After that, it would be easy to return to picking up small, but well paying jobs. That’s how I got most of the money in the first place. Most of them weren’t exactly legal... But I’ve yet to take a job that my conscience objected to. Besides, if worst comes to worst, I could always nip a bit from Quatre’s account. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.

And he _owes_ me for being a blabber mouth like that. I still can’t believe he told Heero! Never mind that I’m supposed to be dead! Heero doesn’t need that kind of guilt right now. I don’t need it either... It was so hard not to jump out from my hiding place and try to comfort him. Especially when he started crying.

Heero crying over me. Now isn’t that the last thing I ever pictured him doing?

I... I don’t know what I expected him to do. I almost wanted him to brush off the news of my death when Trowa told him, even if that would have been more painful to me. I didn’t want to hurt him like that...

At least he has lots of friends to fall back on now. Trowa had probably been the one to send for Quatre, knowing how the empath was good at that sort of thing. Heck, he even has a new wife that he can run to comfort to. Soon, he’ll learn to forget about me and be happy. I’ll make sure of that.

I have the feeling those two are going to need all the help they can get too. Already, I’ve caught wind of an assassination attempt on Relena to be executed next month. It will be easy enough to squash, but I don’t see how she’s survived this long on her own. Even with Heero’s protection, she’s a pricey target!

At least Quatre is gone now. I’m getting worried about Heero though. He hasn’t moved since Quatre left, and it’s nearly dark out. I’m sure he hasn’t eaten all day either. If I have to, a ghostly appearance might be in order. Or something else to knock some sense into him!! I wonder what I could get away with...

“Duo...”

It was all I could do to stop myself from answering. Stupid reflexes. Yeah, that’s a bright idea. Ruin my cover by accidentally answering to my name! So brilliant, Duo...

“I don’t... I don’t know what to do... I don’t even know how I feel right now...” You should go home to your loving wife and eat something. You should feel relieved that there’s no more Duo to bug you anymore. More importantly, you should forget that he even existed and move on with your life. Honestly. Not that hard, Heero.

“I’m... sorry.” He's wha? Now I’m confused. “I’m sorry I never realized... I put you through... so much pain...” Aw, come on, Heero! You’re hurting me more now with your angst fest now then you ever did obsessing over Relena! Stop looking so sad, damn it!

Heero stood up finally. Good. He’s gonna leave now. I... damn. I can’t take much more of this... “I’m sorry...” he repeated. Then, almost too soft for me to hear, “and thank you.”

Heero walked away after that, but I couldn’t follow him. Not after that. I had planned to start shadowing him tonight... I just can’t now. If I blow my cover now, I’ll lose this chance forever. And I don’t trust myself at the moment.

It’s better this way...

  
* * * 

A lone figure came out of the shadows in the graveyard. He stopped by one of the grave stones, a tear falling from his eyes as he said, “You’re welcome, Heero.”

And with that he melted back into the shadows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:
> 
> " _Wishing you were somehow here again_  
>  Wishing you were somehow near  
> Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed,  
> Somehow you would be here..."  
> \--Christine, Phantom of the Opera (from the _Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again_ lyrics)


	3. I would love to love you like you do me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim to.  
> Notes: This is the chapter I started crying for when I was writing it. Not really because of what I wrote, but I was trying to picture just how Duo would react in this situation. And then I thought, "Oh my god! The poor guy!" before going write back to writing. See? I have some heart. Doesn't stop me from thoroughly tormenting the characters, but hey.
> 
> This chapter is several years in the future and many years after the series ended. I picture Heero and Relena being at least 20 if not older when they were married. So, Heero may seem a bit out of character. This is because people change over time and I think he'd loosen up quite a bit without a war going on. Also, thanks to Weiß Kreuz Glühen, I have this obsession with making Heero into a history teacher. And don't expect too many details on how Duo is protecting Heero. I'm trying to focus more on his emotions. Well, that and I actually have no clue how he's doing it. I'm a writer, not a spy.

Not so long ago, Heero started talking to himself. It’s really cute. He only does it when he thinks on one else is around. I would never have guess when I first met Heero all those years ago.

He does it to test out how his theories and words sound aloud, or sometimes just to talk to himself. I think he likes hearing his own voice. Not that I mind, granted. After all, so do I. But he’s just opened up so much since he started teaching. Never would have imagined in any of my wildest dreams that _Heero_ would enjoy talking. What’s next? Trowa working on audio books?

No wait. I forgot. Wufei’s the literary fanatic. Hell would freeze over if he started doing audio books and Trowa went into telemarketing. What could Quatre being doing, I wonder? Hm... I’ll have to think on that.

Right now though, I am going to sit here and enjoy Heero’s voice, because he’s just talking to hear himself at the moment. He _was_ trying to work on an article earlier, but now he’s given up on all semblance of productivity. Only Heero would try to follow Dorothy’s advice when she shooed him out to be productive, but he soon saw how futile that was.

He really is adorable, pacing like that. Occasionally, he stops to fix the glasses from falling down his nose. Becoming farsighted might be seen as a curse to some people, but in all honesty the glasses suit him so well. They make him go from the passionate ex-soldier I love so much to a cute, mousy looking history professor in a matter of seconds.

Who have thought Heero would become a history teacher? For high-schoolers, no less. Talk about hell freezing over. But it oddly suits him; he teaches it so history won’t repeat.

The students really seem to connect with him too. It’s astonishing, really. No matter how hard he is on them, he’s still one of the most popular teachers on campus. And for one who never actually had a childhood, he gets on pretty well with them too.

He’s so nervous. It never ceases to amaze me how Heero could survive countless battles and near death experiences in a complete calm, yet the second Relena goes into labor and he’s beside himself with worry. And so amusing at the same time.

Dorothy nearly had to kick him out of the hospital yesterday. That was an entertaining sight, let me tell you. And today I’ve been laughing along with the school secretaries. Only Heero would go to work on a Saturday to do nothing but pace.

Speaking of secretaries...

“Mr. Yuy?” Heero jumped, making the older red-head giggle. “Mr. Yuy, there’s a phone call for you in the office. From a Miss Catalonia.”

If I hadn’t known Heero’s super-human speed, I would have been impressed. The secretary didn’t even see him move.

But I have other things to worry about at the moment. The office is largely open and unguarded. The perfect place for that revenge happy bomber I’ve been waiting for to take out his anger on a certain Gundam pilot.

Not that I’m gonna let him do that.

I silently moved from the room, heading up to the roof of the main building. Sure enough, there’s my bomber. He’s smirking as he sees Heero talking on the phone. _I_ was hard put not to start smirking as he reached for the trigger.

Confusion crossed his face as nothing happened as his youthful fingers pressed against the little red button. Sad really. He must have been no more than seven when we fought. Probably had a parent fighting, hence the bomb today.

Don’t you get it, little guy? There’s a reason you couldn’t even get _near_ Heero’s home room. In fact, it’s the same reason none of the bombs you set up are there anymore. Put simply, the reason is me. And it’s your own stupid fault for not backing off after my warnings.

I slipped out from the shadows, taking out a gun. It clicked as it rested next to his head. The man froze. “I’ll see you in hell,” I said softly, pulling the trigger.

He fell forward without a sound. Didn’t even have the chance to scream before the bullet reached his brain.

I sighed, looking at the body distastefully. He had caused me to miss a very important phone call and so young too. A real pity. But I’d better get over to the hospital. I don’t want to miss hearing what they name the kid.

* * *

I was able to get to the hospital just before Heero. Relena was fine, I noted with a sigh of relief. Never thought _anyone_ could survive such a long labor... My respect for her skyrocketed over the past twenty-four hours. For her, and any other woman who has given birth.

The new addition to the Yuy household is also doing well. A baby boy. Seven pounds, eight ounces, and with his father’s startlingly beautiful blue eyes. He’s going to be as handsome as his father one day. All the girls will be swooning for him. He’s already got the whole female population in the hospital adoring his chubby, pink cheeks...

I’m really curious as to what they will name him. So far, the young couple have been very indecisive about it, even after all the pressure coming from their friends. They finally just decided to wait until after he was born.

I had to look away hen Heero burst in the room. The warm light in his eyes when he saw Relena is still too harsh for me sometimes. It’s kinda funny, really. I mean, how long has it been now? And yet it still hurts to much for me to watch them together. I can be so pathetic at times.

Heck, my whole life is rather pathetic when I think about it.

I wish I could be in there congratulating him. It might have been one of the few times he would have accepted a hug. I could have held him, if even for just a few seconds. If only as a friend...

But if I hadn’t been there to stop the bomber, he might not be here now.

I sighed, pushing away all regrets. Time to focus on the conversation. I had sworn to never regret this life. And I don’t, for the most part. I just miss Heero’s attentions every once in awhile, even if those were only the attentions of a close friend. It’s much more than I have now.

Heero is holding the baby for the first time. He looks so happy right now, something else I would have never been able to give him. Yes, this is what was best for him. I’m glad I did what I did.

After all, I don’t need happiness.

“So, what are you going to name him?” Thank you, Dorothy. Get the question I’ve been dying to ask out on the floor. It’s about time too.

Relena looked to Heero, questioningly. “You said you had one you were thinking of?” Which, naturally, he hadn’t told Relena what it was. Not even her. Just that he had one. He can be so damn secretive at times.

Heero looked at the little boy again. He was still screaming loudly as the new father handed the baby back to the nurse. “Yes.” Okay. I’m confused. Why does he suddenly look so sad? “What about... Duo?”

Relena looked up in shock, then smiled. “Yes. Duo is a good name.”

I... But.... He’s naming the baby... after me...

A tear ran down my cheek before I could stop it. Ah, hell... Who am I fooling? I stopped trying to keep the tears in and just let them fall.

Oh, Heero... Even after you knew about me... You’d still...

I’ve never been more honored in my life.

I missed some of the conversation, but that didn’t matter at the moment. When I was finally able to control my tears, Relena was saying something about wanting drugs next time. The next time part made Heero blanch. I moved from my hiding spot quietly. I wanted to think for a bit.

The roof of the hospital seemed as good of a place as any to sit. It’s been a while since I’ve just sat outside. Usually, the only time I’m outside with when I’m rushing to one place or another to get ahead of Heero or Relena. A gentle breeze brushed my face as I found a shaded area to sit in.

Of all the names...

Once again, tears threatened to spell from my eyes. But this time I managed to keep them back. Heero... he could never love me, the way I do him, but I was wrong to think he would have avoided me if he found out. He still thinks well of me, even after knowing...

I jumped as I heard the door open. It was Heero! Crap! I’m out in the open! How stupid can I be! It would all be over now if he saw me. I pressed myself flat against the wall, praying that Heero would stay on the other side...

No such luck. All he has to do is turn around and he’ll be staring straight at me. But his back is to me, thankfully.

Okay, now to move before he turns around... I slowly began to inch to the other wall.

“Duo...” His voice stopped me in my tracks. I almost didn’t hear it at first. I couldn’t move. I had to strain my ears as it was, to hear what he said next.

* * *

“Duo...” Heero hesitated, looking out at the buildings and streets below him. He leaned over on the wall. “I... I wish you were here. I never... I never realized how much... your friendship meant to me, until you were gone.”

He hadn’t. He had always taken Duo and the other pilots for granted after the war. Now, he visited the others often, savoring each moment he had with the few Heero called friends.

Friends. Yes, that was what they were. Heero had never thought he would need them, but now he couldn’t live without them. Except for the one he was forced to live without. The one he wanted to see the most. The one who’s death taught him just how important friends were.

“I probably... No, I could never love you, the way you loved me. But I wish you had told me. I know... I know why you didn’t. It would have been awkward, I guess. But maybe... Maybe I could have recognized how much... how much I needed friends a lot sooner.”

He hadn’t thought it would be this hard, talking like this. He didn’t even believe in any real religion. So why he thought Duo would be listening now, Heero didn’t know. But he had this feeling... He always believed in his feelings before. So why would he not act on it now?

“Relena just gave birth to a baby boy. I named him after you, Duo. I wish you could see him. I wish you could have been there, making fun of how nervous I was. Cracking jokes about what my students would do if they saw me. I don’t know where you are, if there’s a life after death, or if it’s just nothingness. But I-”

The door opened. Heero stopped talking as soon as he heard the handle being turned. “There you are, Heero!” He glanced back to look at Dorothy, who seemed slightly winded after all the flights of stairs. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Quatre and Trowa have arrived!”

He looked out at the view below one last time before nodding to her and starting for the stairs.

* * *

Duo came out from his hiding place, wiping the tears from his eyes that nearly threatened to overwhelm him. “I’m right here, Heero. Right here...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memory: Okay, that was really cliché, but I liked it. The next chapter starts out just as humorously and has a bit of action. And then I after that one I finally get a plot! Gasp! Shock! I know. Also, the next chapter takes place four years later. So little Duo is four. And a real little terror, but that's for the next episode to reveal...
> 
> Quote of the chapter:
> 
> " _You recognized my barrier to love_  
>  I know there's nothing worse  
> Than unrequited love,  
> So I prayed to God that I could give the love you gave to me  
> But something's lying in my way, preventing it to be."  
> \-- _Love to Love You_ , The Corrs


	4. Just give me a simple smile...

Four years have passed since Heero named little Duo after me. And he’s beginning to regret naming him that too. He’s quite the little devil, already playing pranks on his parents. I haven’t a clue where he gets it from, but Relena is very vocal in her opinion about it. She seems to think _I’ve_ influenced the kid.

Too bad I really can’t take too much credit for that. Not that I haven’t _helped_ the little guy out from time to time. He never would have gotten into Relena’s make up case if I hadn’t set it out for him. Heero never was able to completely clean it off the wall...

Little Duo has such angelic features, too. He looked so innocent after playing in the mud. Not even Relena could be mad at him for long. Though, she’s taken to locking the doors. It was still amusing while it lasted. He was perfectly safe! I watched over him the whole time whenever I left the door slightly ajar...

It’s a pity I can’t play with him directly. Oh, the trouble we could get into...

But little Duo is currently warm and safe, tucked in his bed and dreaming of more terrors for tomorrow. The little tyke has a more than capable babysitter watching over him at the moment. Quatre, who’s been dropping by unannounced quite a bit recently, volunteered for the job tonight. I think he’s getting suspicions...

Presently though, I’m more worried about little Duo’s mother.

Relena never stepped down from politics. Even now, eight months pregnant with another baby, she’s giving a speech to the world nation. She’s really done marvels too. Relena has grown much more elegant in the passing years, in looks and in speaking. It’s no small wonder that she’s one of the most respected politicians around. There’s even talk of nominating her for president, though that would be many years down the line.

But even she has some enemies. Which is why the love of my life is here tonight, not at home grading his student’s essays. Even he’s gotten wind of this one and is taking care of the security personally.

Because there was no question of Relena backing down. That’s the one problem with Relena. Her sense of right tends to over rule her sense of survival. But, I suppose that’s one of the reasons he fell in love with her. After all, she had to be at least a little crazy to chase after him!

For this reason, I have to be out in the open instead of in the shadows. Don’t want to be mistaken for the assassin after all. It was fairly easy to slip in as one of the guards. The young man who’s spot I’m taking is currently unconscious and tied up with a lack of clothing. Oh, I did leave him a note saying I was sorry. Typed of course. I’ve been planing this well in advance.

Normally, I would just take the guy out as soon as I heard about it. But for some odd reason, I can’t find the damn bug this time. I _know_ he’s here somewhere... I also know he’s a sharp shooter. But where he’s hiding is what I’ve been digging to find out for the past several weeks. This one’s better than most.

Luckily for me, there are only so many places a sharp shooter can hide in this auditorium. It was made for politicians after all, and all politicians have to watch out for assassination. And I happen to know all of these little hiding spots.

I’ve caught more than a few ‘revolutionaries’ in this place. Enough so that I always accompany Mrs. Yuy whenever she makes herself known publicly. There have been several close calls when some random maniac decided to take a shot at her in the past. One to many for my comfort.

I looked out into the crowd once again, shifting nervously as I watched Heero doing the same from his corner. Her speech is nearly over. Was my information wrong? Maybe the shooter would wait until she was leaving? Or catch her after she was seated? Damn, I’m getting too-

There! Off to the side! Shit, there’s no time! I took my gun and aimed, even as the sharp shooter did, ignoring one of the guards yelling at me.

The room fell silent as a gun shot rang through the auditorium.

* * *

I dropped onto the small couch of my apartment, too tired to do anything else. It had been a long night.

Relena was safe, thankfully. Though she just _had_ to pick about five minutes _after_ I killed the sharp shooter to go into labor prematurely. With drugs, as promised this time, little Duo now has a new baby sister named Leyna. She’s a little small, but there’s no doubt she’ll be a healthy baby.

It had been a real pain getting out of the auditorium. Not easy, let me tell ya. At least they weren’t trying to shoot _me_. They knew I was the one who had saved her. I guess they figured the poor lad who fired thought he was in trouble and ran.

My leg won’t stop throbbing. Think I landed on it wrong, trying to get away. I’m getting too old for this kind of thing...

After they found the real guard tied up, there was a lot of confusion. But by that time, I was long gone. Let Heero try to figure out who saved his wife till the early hours of the morning. Right now, I just want some sleep...

But the ache in my leg won’t let me do that. Pain killers... I know they are around here somewhere...

There. Over by the computer, where I left them. I groaned, remembering I still had to hack into Quatre’s bank account tonight. I don’t do it too often, but lately I’ve had no time for small jobs. I took two little pills without water, frowning at the conclusion of my thoughts. This leg will keep me out of action for awhile... No way I could pick up any jobs.

Now’s the best time to hack into it, when he’s watching over little Duo. Someone’s bound to notice it, though. I’m surprised they haven’t stepped up the security already. But then, Quatre _has_ been appearing suddenly. I think he might be trying to catch me off guard.

Well, good luck to him on that. There’s no way he could prove it. Besides, the few times he _has_ caught my presence, he put it down to a spirit. Why wouldn’t I check up on Heero from the after life, hm?

I’ll do it tomorrow. He’ll probably still be caught up with Heero trying to figure out who saved Relena.

It was worth it though. All worth it. I’ll get to see Heero with that small smile again when he’s watching over little Duo. And now Leyna too. That small smile that’s worth a thousand hellish nights like this one. The one that gives me something to look forward to when the painkillers don’t do their job... Like now...

But even if the painkillers aren’t working, I’m tired. At least they’ve started making me drowsy. In fact, falling asleep on the couch is beginning to sound good... Less walking... Good night...

* * *

Quatre smiled at Heero, congratulating him on the new baby. His old friend still seemed slightly out of it, deep in thought. And the blond had a sneaking suspicion that his hacker had something to do with it. “Heero? Anything wrong?”

Heero sighed, shaking his head. He moved over to look out at the window of his small study. “No one knows who shoot the man. It wasn’t one of our guards.”

The blond perked up at this. The hacker... yes, he was sure of it. Quatre had known that the money being stolen from his account had something to do with Heero. Not sure why, but there it was. The money wasn’t really an issue, but his curiosity had peaked. Now...

Heero continued on. Quatre counted himself lucky that the other man’s back was turned, as he schooled his fact to a more neutral expression. “The man who was stationed at that spot was found tied and gagged, stripped to his boxers with a note next to him. The guard said he didn’t remember anything.”

“Note?”

Heero turned back, facing the blond once more. For the first time Quatre noticed the paper between his fingers. He held out the message for Quatre to take.

Quatre reached forward, fingers barely brushing the paper when he received a jolt. He pulled back, startled.

There. It was that feeling again! It _had_ to be the same person! But who-

“Quatre?” Heero sounded concerned. Later. He’d figure this out later. Quatre shook himself visibly for Heero’s sake before smiling. “It’s nothing.” The brunette didn’t look too convinced, but he let it drop.

The blond took the note and unfolded it. To his dismay, it was typed. Who ever wrote it did it well in advance...

Blue eyes fell over the words, his eyes widening slightly as he took in the meaning. ‘Yo! Sorry to take you out like that, but I’ve got some business to take care of. So just sit tight. I’m sure they’ll find you eventually.’ It was signed ‘Me.’

Quatre shook his head in confusion, blond locks falling into his eyes. It sounded so familiar. He could almost picture the voice that wrote it... So close... But who could have possibly...

“Quatre? What’s wrong? Do you know something?”

He kept the slightly dazed expression while he thought of what to say. Best to stick with the bare truth, or Heero would get suspicious. “I... I don’t know. It _feels_ like I should, but..” Heero sighed and looked away.

Quatre hated not telling his friend, but... Something held him back. And he was getting the oddest sensation of déjà vu by doing it... “Either way, whoever it was saved Relena. So I guess they’re trying to help you.”

Heero nodded. He was about to reply when there was the faintest creak of a door opening. “Daddy?”

The two men turned to see a frightened little boy in his pajamas, clutching a teddy bear tightly to his chest. “Daddy, I had a dream where Mommy got hurt and some bad people came and took her...”

Heero smiled gently. He walked over to the child and picked him up, bear and all. “It’s alright, Duo. It was only a dream...”

“Where’s Mommy?”

“She’s in the hospital with your new baby sister. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we go visit her?”

The little boy grinned mischievously. “So I don’t have to go back to sleep?”

A soft chuckle escaped from the ex-soldier’s lips. “No, Duo. You don’t have to go back to sleep. Teddy can even come too.” He set the child down, pushing him slightly to the door. “Come on, I’ll help you get dressed.”

Heero started to follow the delighted little Duo out when he remember Quatre. He turned to the blond, who smiled at him.

By that time, Quatre had managed to compose himself, though he still felt slightly numb. Maybe that was why he said, “Go on. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Heero nodded, following his son.

Quatre took the opportunity and sat down on the couch heavily, eyes returning to the wild state they had been when the child first entered the room. Why hadn’t he seen this sooner? But it was just too impossible...

Duo...

That feeling. It was Duo. It had to be. Who else would want to protect Heero so much? But Duo was dead...

 _Later_ , Quatre told himself firmly. Later, when Heero wasn’t watching. Because that would have been the last thing Duo would have wanted, for Heero to find out...

Quatre got up slowly, steeling his trembling fingers as he folded the note again and put it in his pocket. Then he walked to the door and turned out the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:
> 
>  _Why have I fallen in love with you?_  
>  Just give me a simple smile to answer my love.  
> \--Translation from _Myself_ , by Changin' My Life


	5. I'm alone, holding myself again tonight

He’s fallen asleep at his desk again. Heero looks so innocent like that. Like he’s never had a care in the world. The years are stripped away from him. It’s only the glasses nearly falling off his nose that remind me I wasn’t looking at a ghost of his past self.

I’d try and put a blanket around him, but no one’s ever done that without waking him up. Well, Relena has, as much as it hurts to admit. But she hasn’t come to check on him tonight. Probably too tired to wait up for him. Her life’s been awfully busy lately. Thankfully, it’s been fairly quiet around her too.

It’s very tempting to try though. To know that he’s just at ease in my presence as well as hers... Well, it wouldn’t be the same as him loving me back, but it would give me something. Some little thing that I could cherish on cold nights like these...

But no. If he were to wake up and see me there... Can’t risk that. Besides, he would question where the blanket came from when he woke up. While ghosts can do many things, I doubt he believe one put a blanket over him.

I should be asleep as well. I’ve just got this bad feeling though... I couldn’t rest. So I came here. Knowing he’s safe gives me some peace of mind and watching him is one of the greatest, and only, pleasures in my life.

I’m really pathetic, aren’t I? Pining away like this over love... A love that will never be returned even. Such an ironic punishment for the God of Death. Fitting too. After all, if death were to touch the ones he loved...

I suppose I could try and move on, if I wanted to. Forget about Heero and start a new life. Maybe find someone new. But then who would protect Heero? And Relena too, for that matter. Better I worry about those kinds of things than Heero. He deserves a chance at happiness after all he went through. I suppose some people might say I do too, but I’ve been the God of Death far too long for that... No sense in changing now.

I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I guess I’ll get some sleep tonight, despite that bad feeling. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve fallen asleep here, watching over him like this. Nor the last, probably.

Ah, well. A little cramp in the morning won’t kill me. Hasn’t yet. Just need to make sure my bad leg is fairly straight and I should be fine.

At least I would be getting some sleep. As much as I want to watch over him, twenty- four/seven, someone half asleep all the time wouldn’t make a very good body guard. Have to keep myself healthy as well. Been doing pretty well at that too, if I do say so myself. So far a limp is my only sustaining injury... Just had to land on that wrong...

I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. Resisting the urge to grumble along with Heero, I kept quiet. I received a bit of a shock after looking at my watch though. Five A.M. Who the hell calls at that time on a Saturday!?

Heero picked up the phone after the third ring, just as I turned on my headphone that was tapped into the phone line. Whoever it was had some nerve... Meaning it was probably important. Sigh.

Heero’s voice sounded much more awake than he looked. Same old Heero, never showing weakness... “Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Yuy,” a deep velvet voice purred. Yes, purred. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. This isn’t right. Something’s wrong...

Heero felt it too, for instantly he was completely awake. “Who is this?” He demanded of the phone.

The voice on the other side of the line chuckled. The bass voice turned my blood cold. I immediately started tracking it, Heero setting up to do the same. Between the two of us, this guy is toast. “Now, now. No tracking. Someone might get hurt.”

My heart stopped, along with my fingers that had been typing earlier. That feeling I had before... Heero kept right on moving though, his computer flicking to life under his touch. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean I have your two children as hostages. And I don’t wish any... harm to come to them before it is time.” Heero paused for the barest second, then continued hacking.

Little Duo and Leyna... It was impossible! I saw Heero put both of them to sleep this evening! No one could get into this house! My security system would never have... Shit. My world class security system was probably blaring back at my apartment, not far from here. Damn! I’m such an idiot! Why didn’t I ever think of this before!!

Still, it couldn’t be true. To be able to get passed my security... I turned to a mini camera I kept with me at all times and peeked in on where little Duo should be sleeping. His bed was empty...

Oh, God... No...

“I see you don’t believe me. I’ll talk to you later, Mr. Yuy.” There was a click on the other side of the line. Heero cursed softly.

“Darling, who was that?” A drowsy Relena asked from the doorway. Heero jumped up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down the hallway to check on the kids.

It was her scream that brought me out of my shock. I had failed, yes. But I have to fix that mistake, and fast. Moving as quietly and quickly as possible, I started to make my way back to my apartment.

I’ll find those two. I have to. Even if it means Heero might find out...

* * *

I had no luck finding little Duo and Leyna. Neither did Heero, who’s been searching as relentlessly as I have. Damn. How could I have let this happen!? All either of us could do is sit and wait for the next phone call.

The God of Death only knows that’s all the police are good for. They’re useless. I can tell Heero’s frustrated with them too. The police have been treating him like he’s a regular scholar. Like they didn’t know that the husband of the one-time Queen Relena was a Gundam pilot!! Honestly...

Okay, maybe I’m overreacting somewhat. But hell... It’s my fault for not stopping this. To think I didn’t even know about this operation...

The next phone call came a day later, in the evening this time. Not like any of us had gotten any sleep. But I think he planned it that way. I am so going to bust his face in when I finally get my hands on him...

One ring and the entire house was silent. Two rings, Heero picked up the phone. “Hello, Mr. Yuy. How are you today?” The voice was just as creepy as I remember it. Smooth and velvety, seemed to be right out of some horror flick. I started tracking it as soon as Heero had picked it up and Heero wasn’t too far behind me. “Get enough sleep last night? I know it must have been hard not knowing-”

“Where are they?” Heero growled into the receiver. Damn it, Heero! Don’t be so direct! Keep him talking! Alright, who’s bright idea was it to let him do the talking? Get Relena on the phone for crying out loud! She’s the diplomat!

“They are here with me, safe at the moment. I’m afraid they may not be for long.” A soft chuckle as two year old Leyna began her unmistakable scream.

I _will_ hurt him. Painfully. And slowly. Heck, I’d follow him down to hell and back if I could just get my hands around his neck... Come on, Duo. Focus. Think about tracking him, _then_ think about how you’re going to kill him...

“What do you want?” There was real panic in Heero’s eyes. Almost there... Don’t worry Heero. I’ve almost got it... Just keep him talking a little longer...

“What do I want? That is a very good question. I think I’ll let you know in the next phone call, Mr. Yuy.” Click. Got it!!! Just in time too! I’ll see you in hell first, buddy!

“Were you able to track it, Heero?” Relena asked fearfully. Don’t you worry, Relena. I’ve got it covered.

But Heero’s answer stopped me in my tracks. “I’ve got it. I know where they are.” Crap! He always was better at hacking than me. Should have known... Of course, _he_ can afford to be direct. I’ve gotta keep him here somehow! If he goes too, there’s no way I could remain unseen!

Heero was making to leave. Damn it! Relena, say something!!

“Heero! You can’t go!” Thank you! But that’s not going to work. I have to make sure that he _stays_ , before I can do anything... I don’t want to, but I _will_ knock him out if I have to. As a ghost, I have _lots_ of ways that I could keep him put.

Because Heero was in no mood to listen. “I’m getting them back.” Great. Heero, don’t make me do something I might regret... He would have left then if not for the police getting in the way. Too bad they won’t stop him for long.

“Sir, I know you’re worried-”

The glare Heero gave the man was enough to stop him dead. Relena, thankfully, was not so easily cowed after all of these years of living with him. “Heero, Wufei and Sally will be here soon. They can take care of it-”

“And so can I.” Heero pushed the policeman aside, trying to make his way to the door. I hesitated though, waiting to see if Relena would try anything more. The policeman weren’t doing anything useful either. Come on! There’s how many of you against one of him? Granted, he is a Gundam pilot, but I bet if you tried hard enough you could do it!!

Relena _did_ try something more. She grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn back and glare at her furiously. But she gazed steadily back at him. “Heero... For God’s sake, you’re a history teacher now! You haven’t done this kind of thing in years!” He still didn’t back down... I know you can do this, Relena. If anyone can get him to calm down it would be you... “ Heero, please... Stay with me...”

Yes! Relena really knows how to wind Heero around her little finger! And for once, I’m glad. He’s wavering... And she’s starting up the waterworks. Good girl. Keep him from getting himself killed...

The door opened, revealing a man and woman in Preventor uniforms. Wufei! Thank you! One of the only other people on earth that might talk him out of it! Not only that, but _he’ll_ act if Heero doesn’t listen...

Relena seems to be reading my mind, for she jumped on Wufei before he could even manage a ‘hello.’ “Wufei! Please, Wufei! Tell Heero to stop!” I admit, she’s an admirable woman when she puts her mind to it. She certainly knows how to get what she wants. And she wants Heero home.

Wufei was bewildered, but Sally caught the drift. “Don’t worry, Heero. We’ll get Leyna and Duo back.”

I knew who won when Heero finally sat down helplessly. Good. Now to do my job and correct my mistake.

* * *

Heero waited until Relena was asleep before sneaking out of the bed room. He quietly mad his way to his study and got out his gun with a trembling hand.

Wufei has said there were at least twenty people helping the kidnapper at the base. They would go tomorrow before dawn.

But tomorrow morning would be too late. No matter what Wufei said, that man did not want a ransom. Heero was sure of that. Leyna and Duo would be dead before they even got there. Which was why he had to go now...

Leaving now... He’d be alone. He’d probably... have to kill again. He never want to take another life... Not again... Could he go back? To what he was? Maybe Wufei was right...

“ _The things you do for the ones you love._ ”

Heero stopped hesitating and firmed his hand. Hadn’t he been the one to believe in his feelings? No point in going back on it now. He slowly got out the ammunition and started loading the gun.

Yes. If it meant getting Leyna and Duo back... Heero would kill again. Surely the kidnappers knew about Wufei’s plan. It would be too late at dawn. He had to go now.

“Thank you... Duo.”

Heero left the house without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " _Hold me tight, if this is how it feels_  
>  This feeling of falling in love with someone  
> I never wanted to know it
> 
>  _"I love you, It is filling up my heart_  
>  I want to shout to the winter sky  
> 'I want to meet you right now'"  
> \--Translation from _Eternal Snow_ , by Changin' My Life


	6. And in My Universe, There is You.

It was pretty damn hard getting into the base unnoticed, I’ll give the bastards that, but not impossible. And considering I make a living out of getting into places unseen... Let’s just say they still didn’t stand a chance.

Finding little Duo and Leyna was another matter. It was a piece of cake even. Kidnappers, yes. Terrorists, you bet. Babysitters, they _ain’t_.

But they still out number me greatly. So, I’d like to get in and out before they notice what’s missing. Then, set off a few... surprises that I left while waiting for an opportunity. It’s just been hard to find a time when little Duo and Leyna are left alone.

Little Duo would have made Heero proud though. Heck, the kid’s made _me_ fell all mushy about it. He’s scared out of his wits but he still protects his little sister. And to top it all off, he made it his top priority to piss off his guards with non-stop chatter. Spunky little kid. Reminds me of myself.

“Hey, mister. Do you know who Od-y-sseus is? He’s my hero! Daddy told me all about him and how he fought the Tro-gin War and all those monsters. I bet if he were here, he’d kick your butt in two seconds. He’s a king, ya know. And he had a son, just like me! Tel-Telmen- cus. I always forget his name, but he could kick your butt too! I bet when I grow up, I could too!”

Now see, here’s Heero’s first mistake. Naming the kid after me. The guard looks about to have a fit. So am I, but mine’s of a merrier sort. It’s all I can do not to roll over laughing. I couldn’t have done it better myself.

Heero’s second mistake was reading little Duo _The Odyssey_ for a bed time story. He now knows better than to try and kill two birds with one stone. Just because _he_ needed to refresh his memory on it does _not_ mean to read it to his kids.

I watched this little scene for about an hour or so before I decided going unnoticed was not going to happen. And the guards seemed about to snap, as little Duo was now showing off his spelling skills. Starting with Odysseus, of course. I was about to drop down from my hiding place in the ceiling when the guy with the creepy voice showed up.

I didn’t have to wait until he spoke to know it was him. It was obvious he was in charge. He also moved like a skilled thief. Besides, he has that creepy-voiced bad guy look about him.

I decided against moving out on the basis that my anger might... have some unfortunate consequences. Little Duo and Leyna shouldn’t have to see that kind of thing so young. And I doubt I would have been able to cleanly knock this guy out like I had been planning for the other guards. _Way_ too tempting to rip his lungs out.

Behind him was one seriously creepy bastard. I mean, this guy is leagues worse than voice-guy. Voice-guy at least looks semi-normal. This bastard is downright dearranged. Voice- guy actually had a nice exterior though. He had that whole ‘dark and brooding’ look going for him.

But that other guy... Paler than even someone from the colonies. Blond hair that was almost a shocking white. And his eyes... Those ice blue eyes weren’t sane. He was almost ten times creepier than the voice-guy.

The guards greeted the two with a salute. The one in charge spoke, issuing commands. “The Preventor unit will be here before dawn. Prepare to evacuate. Mr. Cayer will take care of the children.” Yup. Definitely the man on the phone.

The two guards nodded before running off. I began to get _really_ uneasy. Especially when I noticed the crazy guy was reaching for his bag...

“You can have your fun, but keep it under an hour.” FUN?! Hell no! “I want them dead before we leave.” Leyna started screaming.

I would have strangled the man then and there, had not little Duo spoken up. “You can’t kill us! Mommy’s really important and Daddy won’t let you! Besides, you didn’t call for ransom money or anything yet! You’re not doing it right!” Damn. Can’t shed blood in front of those two. Wait a sec... I still have several bombs left over...

A smile crept onto my face as I formulated the plan.

The evil-voice guy just laughed. The insane guy smiled wickedly as he unlocked the door. In a thin, raspy voice he said, “This isn’t a story, little boy. We want your mommy and daddy to suffer... and your deaths will make them suffer...”

I think not!! In a swift motion I fell from my hiding place in the ceiling and knocked out evil-voice with a single blow to his head. The insane fellow barely had time to turn around before I delivered a punch to his gut. “Who...”

I smirked, as he fell to the floor. The God of Death, of course, and your death is near at hand. It’s a pity that neither of you will be awake for that bomb to go off. This sort of death is much too clean for the likes of you.

Time to get little Duo and Leyna out. I turned to the cell to find little Duo hovering protectively over his sister, trembling slightly. “It’s okay. I’ve come to get the two of you out of here.” Hm... Maybe.. “Your daddy asked me to look out for you.” There was a slight chance I could still pull this off. If I could just get Heero to believe in ghosts...

“Wh-who are you?” Aw... He’s so adorable like that, trying to look fierce while being scared. Like a miniature version of his father. The girls are going to go nuts over him when he hits highschool.

Assuming I stop sitting around thinking about it and get him out of here. Jeeze, old age must be making me more spacey... And I couldn’t help a small laugh at his bravado as I opened the door and kneeled down next to him. “Nobody important.” I said, reaching behind him to pick up the still screaming Leyna. Little Duo was silent while I calmed her down.

Finally, she stopped screaming and went back to her usual quiet and angelic self. In a way, she was the exact opposite of little Duo. It made Relena all the more sure that it was my fault little Duo was so talkative.

Her finger safely in her mouth, she looked over at her older brother. Who was still silent. The lack of questions was beginning to bother me... But I still have to set the bomb. Worry about that later...

I ushered the two of them out of the cell before tossing the two unconscious bodies in. Setting the bomb to exactly twenty minutes, I re-locked the door and pocked the key. “Alright, you two. Let’s get you back home to your par-”

“You’re Od-y-sseus, aren’t you?” I looked down at him, baffled. I’m wha? How’d he come up with that one? But he looked at me in complete awe as he went on. “You said your name was nobody, just like Od-y-sseus did to that cy... That monster with one eye!”

Oh! I get it now! I gave a brief chuckle before picking up Leyna and shaking my head. “Not quite. But you gotta be quiet when we sneak out, okay? Just as quiet as Odysseus when he escaped under the sheep. The smallest noise and the bad men will come back.”

Little Duo’s eyes widened. Then he nodded seriously after gulping once. I took his hand and we moved down the hallway.

* * *

It just as hard sneaking out as it had been sneaking in. Even though little Duo and Leyna were on their best behavior, everyone was rushing about trying to evacuate. Well, they would soon find themselves buried under this warehouse-turned-into-base. But the other bombs would only go off when I hit the switch and we’re a safe distance from this place.

In the fifteen minutes that have gone by, we’ve managed to get a good length from the bomb I set in the cell. In fact, I’ve half a mind to sit here and wait till it blows... That way less of a chance of people would notice us.

Whispering encouragement to little Duo all the way, we moved on. About two more minutes...

Suddenly, a figure rolled out in front of us, gun aimed straight at me. I moved protectively in front of little Duo before I realized who it was.

I... Crap! What’s he doing here?!?!

Heero nearly dropped his gun when he recognized me. Damn... It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!! He stood up slowly, his arm had an almost unnoticeable tremble as he lowered the gun.

“Daddy!” Little Duo jumped out from behind me, running to his father. “Daddy! Did you come to rescue us?!” Heero just stared in shock, not even acknowledging little Duo’s hand on his sleeve.

I gulped and laughed nervously. Well... Guess it’s out now. No way he’d believe I was a ghost... “Hey, buddy. Long time no see...”

“Over there! I heard someone talking!” Crap!! They found us! I turned back to face the voices just as the bomb exploded, making the whole building quake.

* * *

Duo stumbled backwards. He used the hand that wasn’t holding Leyna to steady himself against the wall.

The building’s shaking woke Heero from his shock. He held little Duo close to him, covering him in case the ceiling came down. The little boy cried out, clutching at his father’s shirt in fear.

It was over soon though. Heero looked around again, adjusting his glasses. Duo was still standing there. He was still there. It wasn’t a dream.

Duo was alive... but that was impossible...

Duo was about to say something when a bullet flew past his head. Ducking quickly, he made his way over to Heero, thrusting Lenya into her father’s arms. Vaguely, Heero noted a small limp in Duo’s pace and how much older he looked. “Duo-”

“Go!” He said forcefully. Picking up the gun Heero had dropped during the small quake, he fired a few shots before turning back to Heero. “Get outta here! I’ll cover you!”

“But-”

“The kids, Heero! Get them out of here!” Duo fired more, taking careful aim. Little Duo’s tears reminded Heero of his original mission. Taking one last glance back at Duo’s older form, he pulled his children away from the fighting.

They weren’t too far from the entrance. Everyone was so caught up in the fighting and explosion that no one saw Heero and his two children slip out. They were a safe distance away when the building when up in flames.

Duo...

Closing his eyes against the wetness that threatened to overcome him, he held Lenya tighter and squeezed her brother’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " _I'm glad I was born,_  
>  because I exist for you.  
> I live with pain  
> as I fight with fate.
> 
>  _Even if you're far away,_  
>  whoever you may be with,  
> I have  
> only one wish:  
> your happiness."  
> \--Translation from _In My Universe, There is You_ , Hotohori image song from Fushigi Yuugi (Come on now. With all the love triangles in that show, you didn't expect me to go through this fic without quoting at least one song...).


	7. Reflected in the Flowing Water

It had been two months since little Duo and Leyna were kidnapped. Two months since Heero had seen _him_.

The brunette had sat dazedly through Relena’s lectures. Wufei stopped her once he noticed Heero’s state of mind. It had taken him a while to admit it. It had taken him a while to believe his own eyes. But there was complete silence when he was finally able to say it.

Duo was alive.

At first he was angry. So angry that he had locked himself in his study, not answering to any calls. Why? Why didn’t Duo ever tell him? Why was he only there at that moment? Why did he...

It was in that state that Quatre found him. Relena had called him in, hoping the empath could do something for Heero. Somehow, the both of them managed to break the lock on Heero’s study.

“Heero?” Quatre asked quietly. He felt Relena’s presence back away, knowing there was nothing she could do. He walked in the door.

Heero didn’t reply. Quatre could tell by his eyes that he hadn’t gotten any sleep. And he was still furious... Maybe he should have told him after all... “Heero... I’m sorry. I mean, I had sorta guessed, about what he did. But I never said anything...”

“Why?!” He exploded, taking Quatre off guard. “Why didn’t he say anything? After all this time...”

The blond was vaguely surprised. “Because he was protecting you,” he said, without thinking. Immediately, he realized his mistake. This could get bad... But instead of erupting further, Heero went back into a daze.

“Pro... tect...” Heero gaze held no small amount of astonishment, as if he had never heard the word before. He shook his head, trying to free himself from the numbness.

Quatre grabbed onto this opportunity to explain. Heero wouldn’t stay dazed for long. “Duo wanted to help you, Heero. But I think he felt that he might get in between you and Relena... He didn’t want that to happen. So I think... I think he staged his own death.”

Pain returned to Heero’s eyes, waking him from his shock. “But why?” He closed his eyes, feeling frustrated. Why? It was the same question he had asked Quatre so many years ago...

“So he could watch over you. To make sure you or Relena never got hurt.” To watch over... Quatre took his stunned silence as a sign to go on. “Because he loved you and wanted you to be happy.”

Duo...

Quatre waited several moments. Finally, he sighed and turned to the door. Heero couldn’t think of anything to reply with. It was just too much... “Heero...” The blond tried once last time. He shook his head, reaching for the door knob.

“How long have you known?”

The blond seemed relieved at the question. Heero began to feel a little guilty when he realized that Quatre and Relena must have been worried about him. “I didn’t actually _know_... but it occurred to me three years ago that Duo would do something like that. It was when you told me about the unknown guard.”

That was... Of course it would be. Who else? That note too... Yes, Duo would have written something like that. It was in his style even. How many other times had Duo saved him or his wife? How many times...

“He’s not around now. I think he knows that I can sense him.”

Heero’s eyes shot open. “You can?”

Quatre blushed slightly. He hated when his ‘ability’ became the topic of a conversation. It most always lead to ridicule or disbelief. Even though Heero and the other pilots were some of the few who understood it, he still disliked when the subject came up, but he nodded.

Heero moved into deep thought. The blond tilted his head, waiting questioningly. There was still great turmoil in his friend, but he sensed it being organized, and quickly. Finally, Heero looked back into Quatre’s puzzled eyes. “Quatre, I have a favor to ask.”

That had been two months ago.

Now, he wasn’t angry anymore. Heero just wanted to talk to Duo. That was what he told Quatre and for the most part it was true. So if Duo knew about the ‘arrangement’ at all, then he should know that. Why hadn’t he come forward?

Unless he had been hurt before. If he hadn’t left himself enough time to get out before the bombs exploded. Unless this time he was really...

No.

He heard Quatre sigh on the other end of the line. The blond was always out of sight, but constantly connect to Heero. He would be able to tell Heero the moment Duo came back. He was doing what Duo must have done, all these years...

Unfortunately, Heero was about to give up. Quatre was getting as frustrated as he was about not finding anything. Where ever Duo was, he was remaining very well hidden.

Heero glanced down at the clock only to be startled at the time. Seven o’clock? Already? And the computer screen was just as blank as when he started. He shook his head. This article wasn’t going to be written anytime soon.

Thankfully, he had managed to grade all of his students work. Maybe that was because it required less thought than actually writing... And his thoughts lately all tended to drift back to one person.

Well, if nothing was going to get written here, he might as well return home. Relena would start to worry at any rate. And sooner or later, he’d have to explain to little Duo who his “Odysseus” really was. “An old friend” was far too little of an explanation to his ever curious son. He has to stop putting that off...

But as he was waving goodbye to the janitor, Heero heard a sharp intake of breath from the other side of the connection. “Heero,” Quatre whispered excitedly. “He’s here!” Heero nearly lost his own breath.

God... He was alive...

For a moment Heero hesitated, then he started walking out of the school. He would regret it, if he turned back now. No. Heero had to do this.

Instead of heading toward the parking lot, Heero turned into a near by park. At seven o’clock at night, it was surprisingly empty. Not even teenagers spotted the play ground, as romantic teens were often known to do. But just to be safe, Heero followed the walker’s mile to the half way point with a bench. It was there he sat and waited.

“He’s following you, slowly. He’s kinda confused... But it’s hard to read him deeper. He’s gotten better at hiding...” Quatre trailed off. Then, on an impulse, he added, “He’s within hearing distance. I’ll cut the line now and make sure no one else come by.” And the line cut off, as the voice in his head did as promised.

Now it was up to Heero.

It took him awhile for any sound to come out of his throat. It was hard to forgive Duo for what he did. That was what was stopping him, really. How could Heero speak to the one who hurt him so much by faking his own death... What would he say?

It was now or never.

“Duo...” He shook his head briefly, making his voice more firm. “Duo, I know you’re there.”

At first, nothing happened. Duo didn’t come out and Heero began to despair. What if Quatre was wrong? What if Duo never showed himself, regardless?

But then there was a snap of a twig behind him. Heero turned around to see Duo walking up, smiling sadly. “Guess I was found out,” was all he said.

Waring emotions tore through Heero. While he was sure none of them were apparent on his face, Duo seemed to sense this. The braided man simply limped over and sat down on the bench next to Heero, waiting.

Heero’s eyes never left the other man’s face. As if he looked away, Duo would disappear again. He finally settled for the obvious. “What happened to your leg?” It was beside the point, but much better than some of his other questions.

“Twisted it a couple years back. It’s bothered me ever since. Nothing major.”

Heero looked away. “Ah,” was all he said.

They both sat in silence for a while. Neither looked at the other, but instead stared straight ahead. It felt like a painful gap had somehow opened up between them. And Heero wasn’t sure if it could ever be breached...

Finally, Duo leaned back, eyes closed. A small, painful smile played across his lips. “I knew I’d screw up one day. I always do.” Pain became more evident in his voice as he said, “I... I failed in looking after little Duo and Leyna... I’m sorry...”

Heero knew from Duo’s tone that the apology wasn’t just for letting his children be kidnapped. Any anger he had felt toward his friend melted away when he looked back at Duo. That small, pained smile Duo had... Life had been so cruel to him. Heero had been cruel to him. It was his fault Duo was like this now and there was nothing he could do to change it.

“Why?” How many times had Heero asked that question? In other circumstances, he might have scoffed at the number. Such a pathetic question, especially since Heero knew he didn’t want the answer. But he needed Duo’s answer, in Duo’s own words. Whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Duo’s smile broadened, though it was still the saddest Heero had ever seen it. What had happened to Duo’s real smile? This one pierced through him like a knife... With eyes still closed, Duo let out a short and bitter laugh before answering. “The things you do for the one you love.”

Heero looked away, unable to stand it any longer. Of all people, why did Duo choose him to fall in love with? Why put himself through that much suffering? Why not move on with his life, instead of trying to protect him?

He knew Duo’s answer. He didn’t have to ask it aloud. Even before Duo had spoken. He had just wanted... to hear Duo say it. The phrase that he spoken so long ago... His voice just as Heero remembered it. Older, much more weary, but still Duo.

The braided man sat back up suddenly, his cheery exterior that Heero remembered so well returning. How much of that had been an act? “Well, you should just forget about it, Heero. No use in thinking about how pathetic I am.” Duo leaned forward, preparing to stand up. “Don’t worry. I’ll try not to let you see me again.”

No.

Duo stood, started walking away. Rage filled Heero again. Standing up purposefully, he moved in front of Duo and punched him. Hard.

Duo stumbled back, surprised. His shocked cobalt blue eyes looked up to meet Heero’s furious gaze and a small chill went through him. But Heero did not hate Duo, as the other man feared. So his next words shocked his friend to the core.

“Damn it! Don’t walk away again!”

It was Duo’s turn to be stunned. More than because of just the punch. Heero’s words seemed like a million blows that hit him harder each time.

Heero wasn’t going to let him disappear a second time. “Stop hiding everything.” He was being selfish, yes. Maybe if Duo came back, it would be even more painful, but.. “I... I can’t love you. You know that. But I still...” Heero paused when he saw tears forming in Duo’s eyes, unsure if to go on. But something pushed him forward. “I still... want you as my friend.”

Duo reached out and touched Heero’s cheek. It took a lot of effort not to flinch away, but Heero kept his gaze steady.

“I...” He started, before pulling back suddenly. Duo held his hand as if he had touched hot coals. He looked away, but not before Heero could see the longing in his eyes. “I’ve wanted that too. So bad. At least that much...”

An awkward silence fell between them, but this one didn’t have the undertone of torment. It was almost a relief from the other one. The gap had closed, finally.

Then Duo smiled, taking Heero aback. It was a real smile this time, the one he remembered from his youth. “Let’s get going then. You don’t want Relena to worry!!”

The two walked off, leaving Quatre smiling after them. He _had_ turned off the link. But that didn’t stop him from eavesdropping... And now Duo was back... Back to stay this time. The blond would let the two of them alone now, he could catch up with Duo later.

But now, he was contented to sit in the grass and smile.

* * *

Thank you, Heero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the chapter:
> 
> " _If you make even one meeting wrong,_  
>  Then even the feelings of love become thorns  
> The pain I submerged deep in my heart  
> screamed and was revived  
> Sometimes I try to blame myself, saying "Why did I do that?"  
> Sometimes I ask my friend, saying "But why?"
> 
>  _Reflected in the flowing water,_  
>  a fragment of memory  
> I swore in my heart  
> I'd never repeat those thoughts again.  
> Reflected in the flowing water,  
> there is sorrow, so  
> with this power, with this life,  
> I want to protect you."  
> \--Translation of _Water-Mirror_ , Chichiri image song from Fushigi Yuugi.


	8. No kind of words are enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim to.  
>  **Notes:** Well, this was the fic that I let the readers chose the ending to. XD Yup. I couldn't decide how I wanted to end it, so I left it up to them. They decided they wanted the happy, sappy ending along with Duo's death as a follow up. It was actually kind of fun, letting everyone chose what they wanted, though I don't think I'll do it again... Usually I try to have the ending already plotted (because that's the important bit), but since this was such an unorganized fic to begin with, I just went with it. Still, it's good to know readers can choose their own ending every once and a while and I end up satisfied with it.

It was a wonderful day.

Heero looked up from his student’s tests to watch his children and Duo. For once, they were actually working on their studies. No doubt because they’ve already hatched some practical joke to play on him or Relena later... He smiled briefly.

Duo was wonderful with the children. Little Duo (who wasn’t really so little anymore) and Leyna both adored their ‘Uncle.’ Little Duo was in high school now, with Leyna in the sixth grade... It’s astonishing how fast they grew up.

No less astonishing was how well the two siblings got along. Maybe it helped that the more annoying of the two had come first, or maybe it was just that no one could say no to Leyna. She had her mother’s serenity and grace, brilliant student as well. So quiet and calm most of the time (the only time she wasn’t was when acting in sync with her brother and Duo. Sigh.). Not to mention she could do all sorts of math problems from algebra to calculus in her head. Duo called her the “little genius.”

Little Duo _could_ be a remarkable student when he applied himself. Not that Heero begrudged him for not getting his sister’s straight A’s. The history teacher understood that his son decided that there were other things in life besides studying. Little Duo was a huge baseball fan and played right field. With sports as one of his passions, he couldn’t let his grades drop too low, but they wouldn’t be their highest either.

Of course, Duo was always quick to point out that the only reason Heero was fine with Little Duo’s grades was because of his perfect scores in history.

Little Duo never quite lost his obsession for the Odyssey. And that obsession grew to reflect the entire classical period. Little Duo knew more Greek and Roman antiquity than Heero did and he found the rest of history nearly as fascinating.

With them today was little Duo’s girl friend of four months, Sandy. She didn’t talk nearly as much as little Duo (Heero doubted even the older Duo could do that) and she was a nice girl. One of those debaters. Duo had been right about his son. He was very popular with girls, though he wasn’t one with a constant flux of girlfriends. Rather, he stayed faithful to one for a long time.

Duo hadn’t changed much. Not really changed much since Heero’s wedding even. Still loud, outgoing, and playful. Still with a ridiculously long braid and wearing all black. But there were some things new to Heero that he had just never noticed before. Like how world weary Duo could be when he thought no one was looking and the sadness that never truly left his eyes...

But in some ways he had changed and for the better. Not much is able to withstand time’s ebbs and flows without changing, after all. Not even history, which was in a constant transformation depending on the culture.

Duo was much happier now than before, that was obvious even to Heero. Duo wasn’t hiding anything anymore and that freed him. While at first it had been awkward and the road a little rough, that was only to be expected. Soon their friendship grew by leaps and bounds. Heero could honestly say that he now knew Duo as well as the braided man knew him.

To think that Duo had been so close to him all those years...

Heero shook his head and fixed his glasses from falling down his nose. These test weren’t going to grade themselves. He had to get these done before the tutoring session later today then a dinner with one of Relena’s political allies that she wanted him there for...

“Hey, Dad!”

Heero looked up again. All four of the ‘children’ (Duo had never grown out of his childhood as far as Heero was concerned. The other man seemed quite proud of this) were now crowed around his desk. All four with a slightly evil glint in their eyes... Heero sighed. Best get whatever they were planning over with.

“Yes, Duo?”

“We’ve gotta do a project on OZ and its positive and negative influences during the war.” Heero waited expectantly, groaning inwardly as he saw where this was going. “Could-ya explain it to us, Dad?”

Heero glared at the innocently whistling Duo. “Your Uncle could explain it just as well as I could.”

“Aw, come on Heero. You know you’re _much_ better at that kind of thing than me.”

“Please, Dad!”

“We want to hear you, Daddy!”

“Please, Mr. Yuy?”

He sighed again. These were unfair odds. Setting all three of them on him at once... And then he thought of revenge. “Alright. But while I’m doing that, your Uncle Duo can grade my tests.”

The older Duo blanched. “What? Hey, hold up! That’s your job, buddy! I don’t know half that stuff!”

“The answer sheet’s right here. These have to get done tonight. If you don’t do them, then I can’t explain OZ sufficiently...” Heero left it hanging. Now three sets of eyes turned imploringly to Duo, who snatched up the tests and took a seat off to the side grumbling.

Heero smirked. The humor wasn’t lost on the kids either. Their laughter earned the three of them glares from the older man. The said glares were still no where near as affective as Heero’s.

Yes, it was a wonderful day.

* * *

I took a few minutes from grading Heero’s tests to listen to him talk. It’s nice to hear Heero’s voice. What’s even better is not having to hide the fact that I enjoy it.

It’s amazing the difference of life in the shadows and in the sunlight. I can’t think of why I didn’t at least try it before. I mean, I really can’t think of any better way to spend my life.

I’ll admit. I was honestly a huge idiot for all those years. Not that I regret them at all, but I was a fool. Probably still am. Guess some things just never change no matter how long it’s been. Ah well. Even an idiot’s gotta get something right every once in a while and I think I finally have.

You know, I never would have guessed that Heero would be the key to my new life. Back during the wars, and even afterward to some extent, emotions often confused him. I’m proud to say I was one of the people he let help him adjust to a life of peace. It wasn’t easy, but is anything? And now it’s the other way around. He’s the one who taught me how to live outside of the shadows.

Lord only knows where he got the patience to put up with me, but he does. All those times I wanted to sneak back behind my masks, he wouldn’t let me. And I’m glad all my barriers are gone now. I never realized how constricting they were. They kept other people out, but they also kept me inside.

I don’t think Heero realizes quite how much that meant to me. It was one of the reasons I can’t just move on, though I suppose I could if I really wanted to. But loyal to the end I’ll stay, and I think he’s finally grasped that fact. Though it certainly was amusing, watching Relena and Dorothy scheming at his bidding, trying to set me up. They get points for trying.

It was rocky at first. Really rocky, trying to live normally again. Those were the times I wanted to crawl back into the shadows the most, but Heero never stopped trying. Never let me stop trying either. I didn’t think it was possible, but I love him even more for that.

I still play protector, but I’ve let the others in on my network. Wufei and Sally appreciate it the most, actually. Can’t believe I didn’t think of that in the first place. They are part of the Preventors after all. But then, I’m not known for my brilliance, rather a lack there of. But now I’ve got the ever clear-headed Wufei to point out my obvious oversights, so I’m actually much better at protecting Heero and Relena then I ever have been.

And naturally, the trouble little Duo, Leyna, and I have gotten into was worth all of it... Some of the pranks we’ve pulled were priceless. Which reminds me, I’ll have to plot revenge sometime soon. Making _me_ grade _his_ tests. Heero Yuy may have my heart, but no one can pull something like that on the God of Death and get away with it! Just you wait, Heero...

Suddenly, someone hit me in the arm. I looked up to find the aforementioned love of my life glaring at me. “What?”

“I _said_ , those tests aren’t going to get graded while you sit there and stare into space.”

I gave him nasty look which earned me a slight smirk from Heero and laughs from the kids. This mean _war_. I’ll grade these stupid tests, but you’re going _down_ , buddy...

I made sure they heard my grumbling as I went back to work. Let them think they’ve won. No one can win against Death. And no one can keep the God of Death from his victim. Not even a pair of beautiful Persian blue eyes that gave me a world full of happiness I had never known before. And I can’t let his ego get too big for besting me, after all. Heaven only knows that the world doesn’t need a Heero Yuy with a big head.

The things I do for the one I love.

* * *

Relena Yuy sighed, rubbing her shoulders as she put her house key down on the table. It had been a long night of open debate, and this time no Duo to crack jokes at her afterward. But she was glad she had told him to take the night off. He seemed to be stretching himself as thin as she was lately. Although, how she had managed without him before was beyond her. Whether he was imitating some stubborn old windbag or poking fun at her own speaking, Duo always seemed to find a way to make her smile after a hard day.

Relena supposed she should feel at least a little bit of rivalry towards Duo, but she didn’t. Not in the slightest. In fact, she did not even feel awkward around him as she thought she would when she first found out he was still alive. Most normal people would feel threatened almost. So why didn’t she?

She had told her thoughts about this to Duo once and he just laughed. “You stopped being ‘normal’ the moment you started stalking Heero,” was what he said. The two still seemed unrelated to Relena, but she supposed he had a point. She was probably a special case. What she didn’t understand how anyone could ever feel differently.

That Duo was just as much as a special case as she was also a factor. It was impossible to count how many times he had saved her life. From her knowledge of human nature, this was far from the usual activities of the shunned lover and he was one of her dearest friends as well. Perhaps one of the reasons she could not comprehend what a more ‘normal’ person would be feeling is because they both recognized that they shared something remarkable. That two people could share something like that negated any feelings of animosity that she might have developed towards Duo.

They shared the feeling of love for Heero Yuy.

Her husband was the center of both of their worlds. In a way, they could understand each other much deeper than anyone else could because of this. She alone knew how much Heero meant to Duo, for he meant the same to her. Relena could not begrudge him for loving Heero anymore than she could hate herself for it.

It was purest chance that she ended up as the object of Heero’s affections. Maybe fate had some hand in it as well, but she as well beyond her childhood’s romantic notions of fate. Relena could only pray that she could have been as strong as Duo was if things had been the other way around.

She checked briefly on her children, two of the greatest joys her life had ever been graced with. Sleeping peacefully, both of them. There was school tomorrow and for once little Duo was not still awake. He only went to bed early for exams in history... Relena smiled softly before closing his door. Little Duo was almost a perfect cross-breed of her husband and their ‘Uncle.’ How that was even possible, she could not say, but the truth remained.

Next she checked the room she shared with Heero. But all of her soft steps had been for not, she noticed upon further inspection. That only left one place that he could be...

Moving silently through the house, Relena only paused to retrieve a blanket out of the closet. The pacifist slowly opened the door to peek her head in when she finally reached her love’s study.

There he was. Asleep at his desk again, just as always. Her heart fluttered when she saw him, glasses falling down his nose, papers underneath his arm proving to be student essays rather than one of his own projects. But something was not right with the picture she carried in her mind from previous times...

Heero already had a blanket draped over his shoulders.

Curious, she moved further into the room. It was that moment that Relena noticed a small crack in the wall. Moving quietly, so not to disturb Heero, she walked over to the wall in question. It wasn’t a crack, but a door! This must be one of Duo’s hiding places...

She slid her fingers through the crack and pushed gently in the opposite direction. The door eased open and Relena was finally able to see the small compartment behind it. Yes, there would be use for her blanket after all...

For there was Duo, sleeping just as peacefully as her beloved. It was a small space, but Duo managed to stretch out his bad leg while his other was folded neatly underneath him. The light from the brightly flashing monitor in front of him chased the shadows away from his figure, revealing his still handsome features. With his head leaned against the wall like that, Duo was the picture of innocence. None of the mischief was there now, nor the sadness that haunted him by day.

She felt a warm smile play across her lips as Relena gently covered the other man in her life with the blanket she had brought for Heero. He didn’t stir. After that, she closed the compartment completely, so the space would still remain secret. Giving her husband a quick kiss on the cheek, she turned off the lights and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:
> 
> " _I love you to the point it breaks me._  
>  No kind of words are enough.  
> If it's a love that can't be granted,  
> then I'll wish only for your happiness."  
> \-- Translation of _Although It's Painful... Always_ , Tasuki image song from Fushigi Yuugi.


	9. Epilogue: For the One You Love

Here he was again, standing at the foot of Duo’s grave.

His family, much larger this time around, left him alone here. Leyna and Relena hadn’t stopped crying since the funeral and it was easy to see that little Duo had been devastated as well. Though, the young man rarely let on that he was.

Heero had sent them back. They didn’t need to stay here. It would just depress them more and Duo wouldn’t want that.

This time it was real. Not that the last time had been any less real to Heero, but now it was a fact. Duo was dead. No mistaking it this time. Not some clever ploy by Duo to return back to the old days. He was really dead this time.

So many things had changed since the last time Heero had stood here. So many years had passed. Little Duo was in college now, his enthusiasm in the classical period as keen as ever. Leyna was showing interest in law and she would make a fine lawyer. Relena had been nominated for president, but was relieved when she lost the race. Life moved on, never pausing in its eternal dance.

Heero was older now than he was then. He understood life and his feelings much better now. Understood Duo much better now. He had no questions this time around.

Duo had been happy. While Heero couldn’t ignore the pain that always resided in the other man’s heart, most of that had been ebbed away with time. Duo had no regrets. He had spent his last days in the sunlight and he almost out shone the sun itself.

The other pilots had all come by. In fact, many people that Heero hadn’t seen in years came to visit. Duo’s funeral had been a grand affair, for Duo had brightened many people’s lives. There was lots of talk of old times, none of it painful.

Heero liked to think Duo would have enjoyed it, had he been there.

It was peaceful time. No storm of emotions, no searing questions. Was this because he understood Duo better? Or maybe that Duo had been happy at the moment of death was the reason.

He’d gone out fighting. Terrorists had attacked a meeting of the World Nation (would there ever be an end to them?). It was largely because of Duo’s efforts that everyone but him had managed to escape safely.

Maybe that was why Heero was willing to let Duo go peacefully this time. Maybe.

It was a brilliantly sunny day, just like last time. Heero was glad for the sunlight. It had meant so much to Duo those last few years. Their friendship had meant so much to Duo those last few years...

Heero felt Quatre’s presence behind him. He didn’t turn to look at his old friend, preferring to keep the illusion solitude just a little longer. These peaceful hours had become so rare.

He was grateful for Quatre’s concerns. Heero guessed that Wufei and Trowa weren’t too far off either. It was easy to forget self-worth at times and his friends were a constant reminder that his life was precious. It was the life that Duo wanted to protect...

But Quatre and the others needn’t have worried. Heero wasn’t going to close up this time. He didn’t have Duo to rely on anymore, so he couldn’t afford to. And that to close up like that would have been the last thing Duo wanted...

Besides, Heero had missed out on much by closing himself up.

He shut his eyes briefly, just feeling the sunlight. There was Duo. His memory was there, every time Heero closed his eyes.

They were both working on evacuating the politicians. Partners again, just like so long ago. Duo had been excited, as opposed to Heero’s calmness, though adrenaline was ringing through both of their ears. Duo had seemed so alive and vibrant...

Then the fighting broke out close to them.

‘ _Heero, get everyone outta here! I’m going up ahead._ ’

Don’t do that, Heero had silently begged. There’s too many. If you go, you won’t come back. You know that.

Shots rang down the hall, earning a few screams from the civilians.

‘ _No choice. I’ll see ya later, buddy!_ ’

Duo gave him one last smile before turning away. It was the last one Heero would ever see.

“Heero...” Quatre said softly.

Heero stood up, breathing deeply, eyes still closed. Duo’s grin never vanished from his mind’s sight.

He opened them then, turning to smile at Quatre. It wasn’t as lively as Duo’s smile (Heero doubted his smile ever could be) but the peaceful soft smile that still startled his friends when they saw it occasionally. Everyone but Duo.

This time, Quatre was visibly taken aback by it, not having been what the blond was expecting at all. But he returned it warmly with a gentle smile of his own, something much more natural than Heero’s. It held a small amount of sadness, just as Heero’s own smile had.

Heero looked back at the grave one last time before turning away. The things Duo had done for the one he loved...

“Let’s go.” Quatre nodded.

Thank you, Duo.  
  
~Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Quotes of the Chapter this time...
> 
> "All love is unrequited, Steven. All of it."  
> \-- Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5
> 
> "The things you do for the one you love."  
> \--Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing


End file.
